I wrote this some time ago. Writing is cathartic. Sometimes, it is easiest to find our voice quietly. We instead write our thoughts down in a journal and stow it away for some time before vocalizing it. I feel as though enough time has passed and that my feelings regarding the situation have finally found balance. With a gracious heart, I forgive and release any negativity to the light. This is the true story of how I sought out a secondary Reiki Master. I knew that Reiki would provide a solid foundation for my healing practice and wanted to learn. Getting started proved frustrating and oftentimes belittling until I met my second teacher. Much of our shadow work is done in the dark. It might sound ominous but it is in fact quite the opposite. It is a beautiful opportunity to finally discover the heavier side of yourself. Through this journey, you become your most complete self, acknowledging all facets of both light and dark. It is akin to dusting off a diamond. It intensifies your relationship with your soul self and with your higher power. I was asleep to my own potential and trusting of someone that was able to see for me. I knew that s/he could see for me until I would be able to clearly see for myself. Only, she never allowed me to see. That next step was an unattainable glass ceiling. As a Reiki Master, you actively work on yourself each day and your awareness is therefor heightened. You are in a position of great responsibility when another person opens themselves up to you energetically. You are very aware of their potential. Your job as practitioner and caretaker, is to "turn on the light" so that the client is able to take care of themselves. Not to keep the client in a holding pattern where they are dependant and seemingly lost. You assist in their finding balance. From this experience I have learned a tremendous amount about ego, domination and submission. Most importantly, I have learned that only you can give your power away. It is up to you to take your power back and to own your space. Reiki works best if taught and practiced from heart and without ego. We all have ego. However, we must keep it in check and respect it. That is something that is learned while working with shadow. Alas, here is my story: I have had two Reiki Masters. It is integral to your spiritual journey to listen to your inner voice and to head its direction. Listening to my inner guide led me to my second Reiki Master who has assisted and nurtured my growth. The first did not. While under the tutelage of my first teacher, I would often hear my inner voice “s/he is not good for you”. This is why. I began my journey with Reiki in October of 2012. I was referred to a local medium that also claimed to be a Reiki master. My first visit included a card reading followed by a Reiki treatment. I enjoyed the treatment very much and felt very well. The card reading was pretty basic but at the time I felt it provided some clarity. I was advised to return bi-weekly as I was told that I required a lot of healing. Many of us have heavy pain bodies and in understanding that pain and deciding to work through it, choose to become healers ourselves! Knowing how I had begun my transformation I wanted to assist others too. I could feel the difference in this new emerging of self and I loved it. After several months of paid bi-weekly treatments, I was told that if I wanted to do so, I could be attuned to level 1 & 2. I was “ready” after so many months of healing. I was given the fee, which seemed reasonable and booked the date. I was told that I would not have course material provided to me and that I should “surf the net” and create my own booklet. With some hesitation, I did so. I received the attunements and went on my way with very little instruction. I was not shown how to use the Usui symbols for level 2. I was only instructed to schedule “bodies” and to bring them to the teacher’s Reiki space for guided treatment sessions. I would start the flow of Reiki energy and would begin the treatment. I was given very little table time (often a maximum of 10 minutes) before the teacher would replace me and continue to work on my client. Soon after, this teacher would ask my client to return and schedule them as his/her own. I was student to this teacher for 4 months and received no course material and was not given certificates. All of the knowledge that you are supposed to receive during levels 1 & 2 had not been communicated either. There is only so much that you can get from reading and you cannot fully trust what you read while “surfing the net”. My studies with him/her were inadequate at best and decidedly unethical. There had been many red flags to indicate that I was being taught from ego and not heart. By holding me back, s/he would continue to make more money. I was charged for each session (of which there were many) and offered her several new clients. This was difficult to process on an emotional and spiritual level. Trusting someone with your energy is a very precious and sacred thing. S/he had attuned me only because s/he needed the income. Not everyone who practices the healing arts is doing it from heart. I began to hear that inner guide saying “s/he is not good for you”. One day my inner voice was especially loud and I finally listened. It made my entire being shake. I cut ties. There had been a lot of manipulation and domination. I needed to be free. I sought out other Reiki masters and finally, through a referral found my second Reiki Master. She asked if I would meet for a tea or coffee first to see if we would mesh. During our first meeting, I was asked to share what I understood of Reiki and what I had learned in level 1 and 2. After this conversation, it was decided that she would re-attune me to level 1 and 2. My inner guide received confirmation. It was then explained that I should have been provided course material, should have received my certificates, should have been able to use the symbols and…..should, should, should…but didn’t and couldn't. I scheduled my re-attunements. I received a proper class, course material and certificates! Under the tutelage of my second Reiki master, my knowledge of energy work has grown and my spirituality has deepened immensely. During my first class she told me that I was a natural and that I had been held back by my first teacher. So, why am I sharing this? I believe in the power of honesty, truth and forgiveness. I forgive this first teacher and hope that s/he finds his/her peace. I am grateful for the experience, for without it I would not fully appreciate working from heart. I would not fully understand the honour of being a channel for the light. My first Reiki Master always quoted “In order to fully appreciate the light we must spend time in the darkness.” My first teacher kept me in the dark. The second teacher showed me how to turn on the light. I am now a Reiki Master and own my own healing practice. I hold space in a clinic and also have a professional space set up in my home. As I had originally envisioned, Reiki is the foundation for my healing sessions. I am a crystal healer and medium as well. I am many things. We all are. The more we practise, the more we learn and open up to. The healing that I am capable of channeling now, is not what I will be capable of in one day or even one month from now. We are always more. Love and light to all.
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